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you're stelllaaaaaaaarrrr [17 Feb 2013|12:12am]
spending this saturday night listening to old incubus albums and reading old live journal entries from college. i don't know why i got the urge to reflect but i'm glad i did. its fun to read myself talk the way i did almost 10 years ago now. i literally laughed out loud. the men i wrote about were hilarious. and man did i love HARD. i totally lost myself in love and got crushed and somehow allowed myself to do it again and i married him! can you believe it? we are all gonna be ok after all.

omg. we are totally old. woah. time flies.
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the proposal [06 May 2011|10:16am]
[ mood | happy ]

Took a while...but this is Copy and pasted from TheKnot.com

On Thursday, April 21, 2011 I got my dream! Forever 21!

Sooo...I went to work and my day was just fine. Not as hectic as it could be so I wasn't stressing out. I had just so happened to be wearing my "Princess Diana" Engagement Ring that my mom had gotten me (royal wedding hoopla) from QVC. Ha!

So anyhoo after work Brandon had picked me up. I knew he planned to come get me so that was no surprise. So were in the car driving and talking about our day. Then I asked him whats for dinner. He kind of evaded the question. So a few minutes later I asked again. He said something about he'll think about it. I knew something was coming but I didn't want to ruin his surprise to me. (I love surprises, but am a sucker and usually suck it out of him before I get the surprise) So this time I just let it be cool and let him take the lead.

When we starting approaching the Williamsburg bridge I knew we were going to Sea Thai Restaurant. I had been saying I wanted to go because I've never been and Brandon had always been the type of boyfriend who listens and loves to surprise me with what I want. So we got to Williamsburg and parked. We walked down the block and of course it was Sea. So i was pretty happy that I got my surprise. The place was really nice and not too crowded. I enjoyed my drunken noodles. We had dinner and a few drinks and by the time we were ready to leave I was a bit tipsy. I thanked him for my surprise. I thought this was it. I was content and ready to go home.

So we get in the car and he asks me if I want to walk around. I was like, "I'm ok, lets just go home"...the liquor was making me a bit frisky. (heh) We get home (his place, but basically home to me) and I had to pee from all the liquor. So I get upstairs first and he walks in on me basically leggings down and skirt down. I'm not sure why I walked into the living room but I pulled my skirt down but my leggings were also still down.

At this point Brandon was in the kitchen (not sure what he was doing) and he called from the kitchen. "Baby do you love me". I said, "Of course I love you". Then he said it again. So I inquired why he was asking. I walked over to the kitchen doorway and he says he wants to talk. I said "we can talk in bed". Then he says I want to talk now or somewhere along those lines (sorry, all fuzzy to me at this point). I asked "Why now?" all of a sudden (like in slow motion lol) he got down on one knee. He may have been saying beautiful things but all I remember is "I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?!". My heart was pounding and I was literally shaking. I remember immediately saying yes. I was utterly shocked because I was not expecting this.

I pulled up my leggings (finally!) and we kissed and hugged and I kept asking if it was real. There was a lot of "Really?!" and "Oh my GOD!"'s. Then he said that it was real. He took me into the living room, got down on one knee (again) and asked again. This time I smiled and shook my head "yes". Then I said "who do I tell first!?" Then he said my Mom (duh, Danielle) so I was going to call her but thought that wouldn't be right so he drove me over to my Mom's house and told her the news! She was surprisingly welcoming (Mommy loves me and I have a feeling she doesn't want anyone to take me away). She said she loved Brandon.

The night was total awe and bliss! I made a few more phone calls to my besties. By the next day the whole world new thanks to Facebook blasting my changed relationship status. But i didn't care. I was so happy and in a daze. I almost missed my train stop to work the next morning.

We had already planned a weekend in Atlantic City and it just so happens that it was our engagement weekend! It was a lovely way to start this exciting journey.

Now on to planning our happily ever after...

make an aqueous transmission

[26 Apr 2011|11:47am]
i must continue to journal!
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[16 Sep 2010|10:17am]
very depressed. tryna get myself outa of it. but i cant. god help me. help this!!!
2 licks| make an aqueous transmission

[28 Aug 2010|02:00pm]
wow, august is almost over. crazy dude. im having a nice lazy saturday today. should probably clean or something and go to the gym. i think my main priorty today is to do nothing. lol. love it.

one week and ill be on vaca, can't wait.
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[06 Aug 2010|10:20am]
[ mood | awake ]

i feel like i've come to terms with my weight gain. and i've stopped beating myself up. instead i've forgiven myself and am now focused on progress goals, and future. and i cant wait to reap the benefits of my new found mindset.

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[01 Aug 2010|12:11am]
i know you'd like to think your shit don't stink but lean a lil bit closer see. roses really smell like booo oooh oooh!!!
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[07 Jun 2010|04:41pm]
sometimes i look through these classes and a smile comes to my face. excited to learn kinda feeling. then i think of papers, and commitment, and if its really right for me and if i have the money. oy! i wish i knew EXACTLY what i wanted to do with my life from birth. everything woulda have been planned and set already...
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[19 Apr 2010|10:48am]
i wanna be home watching gilmore girls and cleaning.
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[05 Apr 2010|09:28am]
You're likely to be feeling a bit lonely, perhaps even isolated, Pisces. Maybe you think no one else has your same wild thoughts running through their heads. You'd be surprised to learn how many people do. It's unlikely, however, that you'll share these thoughts with anyone, especially now. Don't feel like you have to. Just know that you aren't alone and that you have a network of support at all times.
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horoscope [29 Mar 2010|11:57am]
If you feel challenged today, try to take a breath and refrain from reacting. You're at your best when you cultivate patience in yourself, and right now patience is exactly what you need in order to come out ahead in this situation. So remember to think first and act later.
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[29 Mar 2010|09:06am]
like a house of cards. all falls down eventually when the wind blows slightly.
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here today.... [06 Mar 2010|03:02pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

i've been thinking about the people who have past through my life. and sometimes i wonder why they are not here anymore. i know that some ppl are only here for a season but i find myself being reminded of certain people.

ill pass sheepshead head bay and think wow, i used to like basically live here like 10 years ago with my old friend. or id be walking down flatbush ave and be remembering the fights i used to have with my first boyfriend and walking in the crazy heat in the summer of 2004. and then i pass murrow in the morning on my way to work and remember waiting for the bus with the "bus crew".

is it that people change and we cant adapt to their changes? cuz sometimes i think people dont change. like some of ur interests may change but the core of a person does not.

i duno if i wish i had contact with some old peeps or maybe its just one of those days where im remembering my life but i duno....

just weird how one minute ppl are in ur life and then next....gone. but its nice to think back and smile on old times, whether they were good or bad.

make an aqueous transmission

[01 Mar 2010|02:09pm]
Will I ever get to where I'm going?
If I do, will I know when I am there?
If the wind blew me in the right direction
Would I even care?
I would.
make an aqueous transmission

sat night boredom [28 Feb 2010|01:06am]
[ mood | bored ]

i remember when sat nights were fun. lol now i'm old and i'm sitting in watching tv. how boring. especially cuz nothin ever plays on a sat. night. not sure if i wanna be in a sweaty club with all these men tryna grope on me either though. hmmm whats the new sat night fun for soon to be mid-20 somethings?

been feeling very un fufilled these past few months. not only with my boring weekends, but my boring weeks. what i do for work and what surrounds me every day. just dull and mundane. i wish i could be living life to the fullest. but i'm strapped down with loans and forced to pay bills cuz i had to choose to go to some really expensive school and not major in something that would make me wealthy when i graduated. what was i thinking?

what am i thinking now? jeez. i need something to look forward to. maybe thats it. i see no future in anything im doing right now. boo blah blah life. boring. 24 is coming. whopee.

make an aqueous transmission

[04 Feb 2010|02:31pm]
i have an overwhelming feeling of sadness. i feel like i'm in a daze i can't get out of. i'm sad. and i'm not sure when i'll be genuinely happy again. and it scares me. but i guess i have to be brave.
1 lick| make an aqueous transmission

[03 Feb 2010|01:33am]
some things are really fucked up.
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[12 Jan 2010|11:15pm]
mmm lindt chocolate truffles.
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[15 Dec 2009|11:08pm]
i feel very alone and there's no one to talk to. the usual. things need to change. maybe i need to be the one to change them.
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[14 Dec 2009|10:54am]
i want a vacation for christmas. thats all. to flee from ny.
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